Yesterday, i was hurt. Today, i almost got killed.
After the experience of emotional and physical hurtings yesterday, I told myself to be strong and fight back when it is necessary and if you have the opportunity. Yesterday, i told myself that i will never ever let anyone hurt me through actions or through words. Some sees me as a strong person but honestly i am a softie, and it is about time to pack up my "Mara" and start being "Clara". Yesterday was one of the saddest and traumatic experiences in my life. During that time, i felt so helpless and all i have for myself was pity. I guess there would always be instances in our lives that we let our emotions overcome our mind. I will never provide details anymore but one thing i am sure of, i felt alone. So alone...
Today, i almost got killed. Yes, almost.
Left the house for work earlier today, Rode the jeep enroute to Cubao just like the usual transpo i had for almost three weeks now (which is jeep on the way to recto then fx to tektite in ortigas). I sat near the jeep's door. Secured my bag's handle in my arms when out of nowhere a man climb up to the door and grabbed my bag. He grabbed it so hard that i started feeling weak. He initially yelled at me and said "AKIN NA BAG MO" before pulling my bag. I was so shocked and i don't know if i was scared or nervous, i just don't know what to say or do. I grabbed my bag and tighten my hold of it and pull it too. I started shouting for help. I shouted, " TULONG TULONG.." but no one came to help. Imagine we were like 5 inside the jeep. One girl infront of me and the other girl beside me, two college stud guys were seated at the innermost part of the jeep. It was a Red light so expect that all cars and jeep were on stopped. Still no one came, I kept shouting for help. But for i dont know what reason, No filipino helped.
So i was still pulling my bag away from the man wearing white tees while he kept on punching me. I managed to fight back and start kicking him in the face and chest. I was so furious i just want him to fall off the jeep. Then all of a sudden, i saw a man wearing red tee coming towards us and i thought he'll help me, but to my surprise upon climbing up the jeep's entrance, he pulled out a knife and told me to give them the bag. I dont know but i cannot stop myself from kicking the guy in white tee while my eyes were focused on the guy in red tee. I remember he stabbed me twice and i even felt the force and saw him and the knife clearly. All alonh, i thought i was stabbed and was completely unaware of i am already bleeding or not. I remember in one of Janelle Manahan's interview that if you're hit with a gun or was stabbed, you'll feel no pain. You'll only realized that you are injured if there are already blood. I was too busy kicking and pulling my bag that it never came to my concern if i was indeed bleeding. I was wearing a tight dress and flats by the way. I can recall kicking the man in white with my left foot and the man in red with my right foot! I saw punches thrown at me yet i felt nothing. I felt so numb and distraught that all i want to do that time is to kick these guys off the jeep. I have no other emotions but anger. I wanted to cry but i cant cry. I was too angry to cry. So i let out my anger in all the kicking i gave those two guys. It wasnt my concern anymore if other people can already see my thighs and my undies. Good thing i am wearing boyleg undies in black and was wearing a pantyhose. i told myself that i started fighting back then why not continue doing so. I know it is stupid but that time i told myself that back in DECEMBER 11, 2008 someone snatched my bag and i wasnt able to get it back, this time i will never give it up without putting up a god damn fight. (Drama much, but it is so true!). So the tuggings continued and yet there's still no one approached to help.
Then men on the street finally realized that the commotion was serious..i don't know why it took them that long to realized that it's not an effin' movie shooting! When the man in red heard these shout, he climbed down the jeep and run. The man in white was determined to get my bag, but i was determined to fight back so again with both feet i kicked him hard in the face while i was already down on the jeep's floor. He said "Gago ka bigay mo na sakin to!" and with so much anger and frustration i kicked him in his chest and said, "gago ka rin!". He jumped off the jeep pulling my bag and since i was holding on to my bag, i was carried away and fell off the jeep with my right leg hitting the floor first and my lower back followed. I didnt let go of my bag...i said tatakas na sila bakit pa ko maglelet go..ngayon pa. The guy ran quickly and i was left in the middle of the street with all these vehicles not moving. I got up, took my bag, hugged it tightly to my chest and went to the sidewalk. people started approaching me, asking if i am okay or if those thieves were able to get something. I was super paranoid thinking that these people might also be one of those thieves. I went to the corner and this time i'm trembling. I felt weak in my knees. Someone asked to sit down and then i burst into tears. Tears of joy, anger and triumph. Sounds stupid again, i know. People were surrounding me at this time, asking questions, but i didn't respond to any of them. I even heard one guy said, "AKALA KO SHOOTING TAPOS IKAW YUNG ARTISTA". My goodness, it made me cry so hard because for a fact that no one helped, here they are saying that they thought it was a scene in a movie being shot that time. ARAYKUPO! Then someone approached me and was familiar. He was our neighbor Kuya Ricky. He said, anong nangyari? Kapitbahay ko to ha. And he accompanied me home, i was crying and trembling, then i realized that i was stabbed twice. I checked my chest because the guy was aiming my left chest when he stabbed me. Miraculously, there were no blood nor stabbed wounds. I am only feeling pain on my collar bone and the part just above my left breast. I saw my right leg bruised and with minimum bleeding, and at this very moment, the corner of my right knee has a swollen painful violet bruise. My knee is super red and i have noticed that i have cuts in my left pinky (small) finger and ring finger. I got those probably when the guy was stabbing me.
With so much appreciation and gratitude to my guardian angel and the Lord above, i have come to a realization that i still have a purpose here on earth. My friends know how vocal i am about being prepared to die anytime. I am not scared of death, but please no gory death causes. God still gave me another chance to serve my purpose. Whatever that purpose is, i am willing to discover.
I am very thankful to my friends who expressed so much concerns, care and love towards me.
I am very happy that during my hardest times, you guys never left me.
I always get to be comforted and advised of what i should do or not.
You guys know who you are, and i am forever thankful that you are part of my life.
Thanks for making me feel being valued and loved.
I love you guys and thank you!
I am okay now, though my whole body are hurting badly.
After all the pains and hurt, i have physically and emotionally suffered, i guess i can say now that i am already numb.
I may still have my emotions but rest assured i am numb.
These events in my life just made me a better person- a stronger one.
For a lighter note, i think i should join UFC. I'll probably win by kicking! :)